Excellent!

So, in the words of Eric Cartman, spokesperson for My Generation according to me: "Screw you guys, I'm going home." (You have to supply the Cartman voice in your head. I know you can do it.)

Well, not really. I am home. I've been to the dentist today and I'm happy to report that my teeth and gums are in excellent shape. It's about time that some minor part of my body was said to be in excellent shape.

My teeth are so clean now! I wouldn't say that I enjoyed the scraping and polishing, but I love the results. We'll just say that tea and coffee do quite a number on the color of my teeth. I wish there were such a thing as clear coffee.

On the other hand... I remembered what I was really going to write about last night. It wasn't Rulon Gardner at all, it was something even more obscure.

If you have followed the Olympics at all--and I couldn't blame you for not following, but at the same time I can't help myself--you are aware that the women's 100-meter hurdles were chock full of stories. Gail Devers, the favorite, pulled up with a bad hamstring in the semi-finals. She's 33, which is ancient for a sprinter, but she refused to cry and retire. When the talking heads had shut up and they ran the race, the finish was tight. Olga Shishigina pushed ahead of Nigerian Glory Alozie to win Kazakhstan's first track and field medal. Alozie was a winner as soon as she took the field: her fiancee was killed in an auto accident Sydney shortly before the games began. She wanted to go home, but her coaches persuaded her to stay and compete.

Every last one of these things is a story in itself; if I'd been writing it, I would have led with Melissa Morrison's bronze medal. Why on earth, Koog? I can tell that you want to know.

I've never seen an athlete so happy to come in third. She was literally jumping for joy, and she wrapped herself in the Stars and Stripes for a victory lap. She's 29 years old; Sydney is her first Olympic experience. Yes folks, she considered her bronze medal a victory.

I hope some of the high profile figure skaters and gymnasts learn a lesson from her.

before - after