"And you're teaching your children to pray... for under !"

And it's cold--damned cold. Despite the chill in the air and the stiff wind, I did go out for a walk this afternoon; I thought my eyebrows were going to fall off.

Oh. I know.

I've mentioned several times before how much damage daytime teevee can do to your brain. So today I was watching QVC, and I was reminded why I watch QVC in the first place. How else would I know that things such as the Talking Musical Prayer Alarm Clock exist? It features figurines of your choice of white or brown skinned praying children, and it plays a selection of 12 hymns. (The "hymns" include Morning Has Broken, which I had never thought of as a hymn until the hostess mentioned it.) It also recites the Lord's Prayer, and there's a switch on the back that changes the prayer to Spanish.

This, readers, was manufactured without any irony whatsoever.

I used to have an alarm clock that played a melody from Handel's Water Music, and during that time, I thought my roommate would kill me by throwing it at my head in the night, she hated it so much. I finally got rid of it by giving it to a friend whose alarm clock had died a non-specific but nonetheless horrible death.

Anyway, I'm scared; hold me.

before - after