Paradox

The little bills, the ones that said my insurance had paid X dollars, and I owed Y dollars, didn't really bother me before I figured out exactly how much I owe the hospital for expenses surrounding the transplant, but now that I know the total, I have stress about it.

How am I supposed to go back to school in the fall when I have this huge, growing debt hanging over me? I know I could default on it, but that would be wrong, and it would ruin my credit for a very long time.

I don't know what to do, really. Now it makes much more realistic sense to live unhappily so I can pay off the cost of extending my life. But that doesn't make sense! I was willing to work hard to pursue a goal that might make me happy but...

My head hurts. More as I figure it out.

before - after