Some things that never change

I did leave the house on foot earlier, but mostly just to recover my car, which Mom had parked at Fred's. I'll need it tomorrow early to get myself out to Fairfax. Is anybody else confused by the fact that Fairfax Hospital is actually located in either Annandale or Falls Church? I mean, it's in Fairfax County, but not Fairfax city.

I know; whatever.

I woke with the general intent of doing some shopping, but never got my shopping mojo working, because I don't really need anything. Sure there are things I want, but need? I need a new leather jacket. OK, maybe that's a want. I need a new warm scarf. That's probably legitimate, but I can order that from Lands' End and it wouldn't require me to leave the house.

I need a new place to live, but I can't exactly buy that at the mall. I did poke around at listings online and found a prospect, it's even right here on the Hill, but it's small. I'm afraid it would need some work before I could move in, but then I'm not in a real hurry to move.

Oddly enough, I spent a little time at an astrology site that Nicole recommended several months ago. It says that DC is not the best place for me to live, that it will sap my ambition. However, the only places I clicked that gave really favorable readings were Paris and Boston. I suppose those are both places where I have considered living. Aptly, Seattle had the worst reading of any place I've actually lived; New York City had the best. I've occasionally wished that I could move back to NYC, young again, and be healthy this time.

That's where I lived when my health took the initial turn south, and that's why I left town. On good days, I was filled with the thought that I could make a life for myself in New York. I'd walk out of my apartment, look up and marvel "I live here!"

Unfortunately the bad days when I couldn't walk at all stretched into weeks. I've been thinking about those days recently, since the prospect of a bright future has forced me to come to terms with a dim past. I wouldn't say I'm brooding. I'm not unhappy, and there are still very few things I'd classify as regrets, I've simply come to a point at which I need to know what to do with some of my past actions. I need to understand them better.

But I also need to go take my last round of meds and then sleep, since I have to get myself up and out by sevenish. That's in the morning, and I still don't like mornings.

before - after