Portrait of the artist, or whatever

It's strange to see your own face so big. Mine looks puffy, possibly overfed. Is seeing a photograph of yourself anything like hearing a recording of your own voice? I wonder. My reaction wasn't the exact same horror, but... that's not how I look!

My face is much more stern than these photographs. In the second, the smile looks completely fake and my eyes look sad. I look heartbroken. Both shots are straight-on, and I suppose I'm more used to seeing myself at an angle with my hair hanging in my face. On the bright side, I did a very nice job on my makeup. In other words, it seems like I'm not wearing any.

They're heirloom quality prints, beautifully done. I'll get one of them framed, but I don't really know what to do with them now. I don't think I like the image I present enough to hang them. I don't hate the photographs, but I don't like the way I look in them. There's a kind of flight instinct that goes with the reaction, like I should do something to correct the fleshiness, and do it now.

That's not rational.

before - after