. Ham on Wry .
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Now, let's talk about me some more!

I have always been soft, but I have never been particularly large. Honestly, people don't realize how much extra weight I carry because I'm a medium-sized person hanging on a tallish small frame. This happened because my mother's family is genuinely tall and sturdy, with most of the women topping 5'10"; my father's family is notoriously delicate, with none of the men topping 5'10". I am roughly 5'7", but I have small feet and hands. The classic test of frame size is whether your pinky and thumb will meet around your wrists. Mine miss by about an eighth of an inch, but I can see the puffiness at work there. Tonight, Dr. Dogan was trying to estimate my proper weight, and I told him he was at least 15 lbs off, because I know myself. Weight is a key in the treatment of failed kidneys, which makes perfect sense. So I said something about needing to lose 15 lbs on top of the extra fluids, which are still estimated at 8-10 kilos. No wonder I thought I looked puffy! Dr. D.'s response was to say that under no circumstances was I to lose weight. "Kidney patients who lose muscle mass tend to die quickly."

OK, I'm sold. Bring me a plate of shortbread and a glass of half-and-half! I'm joking, of course; but now Dr. P's solemn "please promise me that you'll try to eat" makes sense. I believe that was the first time a medical professional had ever said "please" to me, which would make it remarkable even if the request were totally outlandish.

So now I'm wondering what the best way to convert fat to muscle mass might be. Walking, maybe? Maybe I shouldn't ditch my unused health club membership, but actually start using it. I mean, if nothing else, it's air conditioned at the gym. Anything is going to be a difficult process, but I think this whole thing is a difficult process.

*sigh* I really can't imagine not being soft.

~~~~~

Here's a non-sequitur for you: today I've been thinking about that clear deodorant. Like, how does one manage to get the right amount on, ever? There's no horror like excess chemical-laden gel under one's arms. I can't really figure it out, except by putting the stuff on with your fingers. The stuff, as might be expected, is also not something one especially wants on one's fingers. There's hand washing, of course, but stuff that is designed to prevent moisture is difficult to remove with water.

Anyway, I don't really get the product.

A product I do get is Francois Nars Lip Lacquer. I got some in my last eve.com order, and it's very nice, all full of Vitamin E softness, yet it stays put. It's not sticky or tacky the way some lip glosses are. Remember the Clinique gloss from when you were in high school or college? (I've always thought women who continue to wear Clinique much after that are hopelessly lost in terms of wearing makeup. All my stuff is from either high or low-end lines, pretty much nothing in the middle.) Anyway, the Nars is Not Like That.

The color I got is called Butterfield 8, after the Elizabeth Taylor film. It's a pinky medium brown and really it serves to intensify my own lip color. I wear it with Stila liner number 1, which is the best liner match I've ever found for my natural lip color. That's the ideal.

For what it's worth, I've been putting on makeup more often lately. My basic look is something like this:

Eyes: Nars All About Eve (Shimmery pale pinky beiges), brows in Stila Light; no mascara or liner.

Face: Stila under-eye concealer in light, dabbed wherever I need help; Max Factor powdery stuff (shame on me for forgetting the name. It's like MAC Studio Fix at about a third of the price) in Champagne (which is like C2, though I'm really more an N1.5. If you don't understand that last, don't worry. It probably doesn't matter to you) dusted on nose and chin with a big soft brush; Stila blush in Warm (peachy pink) or Nars blush in Zen (peach) depending on how I feel that day. This goes on the cheeks and forehead.

Lips: three choices, which are the aforementioned Butterfield 8, Philosophy Wisdom Sheer (a burgundy glossy sheer lipstick I'm trying to use up), or Nars Viva Las Vegas (pale pinkish gold shimmer) with no liner.

It's a good look for me, mostly just healthier and slightly more polished. Makeup artists would approve, but insist I wear some mascara and use an eyelash curler "to open up (my) eyes!" To that I say "my eyes are open."

2000-06-13, 23:14:35 comments (0)

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