Damn.

This is much, much harder than me being sick.

When I was 14, in the late summer of 1980, I lost a cat to feline leukemia. Poor George was as dear to me then as Lola is now. His last week or so, he just lay there breathing heavily. I took him to see Dr. Orell and he died the next day. That was the hardest day of my life, bar none.

This was before the vaccine was developed, before vets knew much about the disease. Seems like FIV is at a similar place now.

Lola is the first cat to whom I really got attached since George's death. I am mostly broken-hearted right now, but I have to go get her. I guess it's better to know than not to know.

before - after