Change is good

In any case, I'm working on something new, and I may put it up tonight, though it might be tomorrow. The new isn't really that exciting, but it's new, and that's good in and of itself.

At least it is today.

Today hasn't been a great day. I've felt lethargic and generally down. It has been an exceptionally long day since I got up at 4 a.m. literally shaking with guilty feelings about getting my transplant after waiting for such a short time and suffering comparatively little. I tried to get back to sleep, eventually, but it never worked out.

Looking at the bright side, because really I do try to find some good in every day, I mixed up my first batch of dough, and I'll do the second batch in a minute. I decided how to trim the peanut butter cookies, and on the way home from the market I spent a couple of minutes watching the pale moon fade in and out of a pale twilight sky. The clouds were just exactly the same color as the sky--still pale, but deep enough to play tricks on my head.

And I liked it.

Walking through the market, I remembered something I hadn't thought of in years: My dad was never very good at gifts, but when I was maybe nine years old, I went with him to pick out some flowers for my mom. It was just the two of us. We shopped for hours and hours in I don't know how many flower shops. We ended up with two dozen bright apricot roses. She cried when we gave them to her. I never saw their like before or since, until today.

That gift had a lasting effect on my life. The shade of those flowers was so unusual, and she loved them so much, that I never forgot how the right thing may not come easily, but that you'll know it instantly when you see it.

before - after