Gather ye rosebuds while ye may

I know what the problem is, though; I am hardly eating. I'm lucky if I get down half a sandwich in a day. I do a little better in restaurants, but not much. It's weird to see my body weight so low. The number itself sounds very normal until you consider that I am pretty tall for a girl. I still have some body fat, which is keeping me upright, I guess.

It's weirder than noticing that my bras and other underpinnings are baggy now. I look at my ankles and I can see the various bones. I look at my hands and I can see how each bone fits together to make a hand from fingers. I didn't need to know that much about my body, at least not by seeing it with my own eyes.

I am trying to eat. My problem is compounded by an intense distaste for sweets. Doctors and nurses are telling me to try nutritional supplements, but they're all very sweet. They make me gag, and you know where that leads.

This must be a little like what an eating disorder does to you, except that I know it's completely wrong, and that I'll never get well unless I eat more than I do currently.

So, anyway, that's how I am the past few days. Sorry it's not better news.

By the way, the title has nothing to do with the entry. You're smart. You knew that already.

before - after