Make it stop!

I don't even like Cool Whip. Or is it supposed to be "Wip"? I don't know; that's how much I don't like it. The product has this sort of oily, chemical, unfoodlike residue, and in most of the moments of my life I'm very glad that I am not currently eating defrosted non-dairy whipped topping, but right now...

I guess maybe I should get some Cremora to go with that.

Oddly enough I have a pint of heavy cream in the fridge, it's destined for a sauce because I've watched Jacques Pepin thicken a sauce with cream and butter on teevee one too many times. I could whip it, but that's not what I want. I want the unfood. Perhaps I'd be happy with a Little Debbie Snack Cake.

Shudder.

OK, here's a funny anecdote from this weekend in Washington. The Saints were in town to pulverize the Redskins over the weekend. On the way from FedEx Field, which is out in Godforsaken Suburban Maryland to either National or Dulles, because it could have been either one, their chartered bus was pulled over and searched.

The CNN crawl attributed this intrusion to nervousness because of the recent string of attacks by the creatively dubbed "DC Area Sniper" (I am not kidding, that's what they're calling the guy on the news. However, the bus was on Route 110, which divides the Pentagon from its massive parking lots and a bunch of satellite dishes. Since the attacks, more than a year ago, this road has been guarded by camoflauged Hummers with machine guns on the top, not to mention the DOD "unmarked" cars about every 50 feet. There are huge signs that read NO TRUCKS OR BUSES ON RTE 110 for the whole world to see.

I don't think the spooks looking after this stretch of road even know about the sniper. I can't imagine what the driver was thinking that he read "no trucks or buses, unless you're carrying an NFL team to the airport."

before - after