No Single Cheese

(Hecate, for those of you who might not know, is a black short-haired cat. She is very beautiful and she hopes that you will remember that so she doesn't have to remind you. Technically, Hecate is Mom's cat, and you may be asking yourslf why I'm the one dealing with Hecate's problems. Well, I just am.)

Ever since I switched my girls to a mostly wet diet Hecate's problem is hairballs. I guess she's not getting quite enough fiber in her diet. Since I don't feel like your basic hairball remedy (malt-flavored petroleum jelly, eeew) is particularly good for cats, I decided to go with the old stand-by, canned pumpkin. Yes, I know it sounds unlikely, but cats will eat pumpkin puree if you mix it in with their wet food.

So I decided that instead of visiting the supermarket that I hate (our unfriendly neighborhood Safeway) I went across the Potomac to the Harris Teeter at Pentagon Row. This shopping center bothers me because there's never any above ground parking. I don't get why the store was pretty much empty at 8 p.m. on a Thursday but the parking lot was jammed with SUVs. Who knows where the drivers have gone, but they've all left their vehicles parked in Arlington.

It's always a little dangerous when I go marketing without a list, but I figured I'd pick up a few things along with the pumpkin. Yes, I needed the Donut Peaches at $3 a pound.

Right, so I'm wandering the aisles of Harris Teeter trying to remember why I'm there when I spot it: the Boston Market frozen creamed spinach.

You have to understand that this is, like, my favorite thing ever from a fast-food place. I love creamed spinach more than I love french fries and milk shakes. Naturally I had to have some. Next to the spinach was a stack of little boxes with frozen macaroni and cheese. Aha, I thought to myself, I will outwit the marketers and make my own macaroni and cheese to go with my frozen creamed spinach. So headed for the packaged dairy part of the aisle to get a box of Velveeta.

(Everybody knows that Velveeta makes remarkably good sauce for macaroni, right? If that's what you want, nothing else will do; certainly not actual cheese.)

Yeah, but I didn't find Velveeta next to the Cracker Barrel and under the bags of pre-grated Cheddar-Jack combo. My next stop was the prepared food section, but although I noticed everything from pizza in a box to a low-fat chicken salad kit, the bright yellow rectangle was nowhere to be found. Next I looked near the lunch meat, and on the snack food aisle, which is where I found the cheese in a can. Still no Velveeta.

It was also not located with the salad trimmings. I didn't really think it would be there, but by that time I had given up the hope that I'd find the Velveeta in a logical place.

As far as I could tell, the Harris Teeter at Pentagon Row had no Velveeta for me.

How can you have an American supermarket without Velveeta pasteurized processed cheese spread? I'm still having a hard time with the concept. In any case, I reconsidered and got the frozen variety, which turned out to be highly decent. The pasta is cooked to just the right texture, and the cheese sauce is... well, it's not Velveeta, but it's all right. And Harris Teeter didn't exactly give me a choice.

before - after