Nothing left to do but wonder why

I deigned to visit a big-box hell hole on a Sunday afternoon because of a phone call from my dad. He said something about how he needed a coffee maker, because he has recently taken to drinking screwdrivers for breakfast instead of coffee. Lucky for us all, he's at least sort-of aware that this is unhealthy behavior. Eyeroll. I said I'd get him a coffee maker, so I figured a visit to Target was in order.

They stock a lot of coffee makers at Target, but only one of them is the four cupper that Dad requested, so I bought the Mr. Coffee. That's the first time I've ever bought a Mr. Coffee in my life. However, it's for a good cause.

When I spoke to him, Dad said he hadn't been to work in two weeks. I could tell from his tone of voice that he hadn't taken fun vacation time, so that set off a few warning bells. I called him from the parking lot the drove from Target to his apartment. Sunday afternoon traffic was so congested that it took me 18 minutes to travel less than two miles, and I know a "short cut" that goes around the worst of the traffic. Arlington can be a nightmare at any time of the day or night.

It turns out that Dad's just been drinking heavily and sleeping for a couple of weeks. You and I would call this a bender, but he calls it depression. He said he would be going back to work tomorrow, though.

Over lunch, I found out that he abandoned most of the stuff in his last apartment when he moved, including some of his mother's dishes. I have the rest of the set, and I'm so angry about this I can't think straight. He also got rid of a Navajo rug that a great aunt left him.

I don't know why. I don't know why he didn't give me a chance to rescue this stuff. He said he'd pay to replace the dishes, but I was able to find exactly one plate on ebay when I looked.

To say that I do not understand my father is the very least I can say. Part of me hopes he doesn't drink himself into the grave in the next few months, but I know he'd be out of his misery if he were gone.

I tend to think he must be very miserable, and although there's nothing I can do about that misery, I still find it very sad.

before - after