Not as much fun as staring directly into a solar eclipse

Sort of. My vision is uneven, but I guess it's better.

I spent yesterday having laser treatment on the retina of my right eye. I came away telling myself not to even try to do it without the Lidocaine next time. (Yes, there will be a next time. The appointment is already set.)

The nerves that process pain and the nerves that process information visualy are the same nerves. Lidocaine blocks them temporarily. The procedure is much easier to deal with when you can't see the extremely bright light. Besides, I'm a little more comfortable with the anesthesia knowing how it all works.

I suppose that not everybody wants to know, but I think medicine is a lot less scary when you have somebody who will explain what's going on. I know not all MDs are good at doing that, but they should ar least try. Maybe the patient can understand and maybe she can't, but I've found that if I open my mind a little bit, I can understand the procedure and how it works.

I don't expect an explanation of emergency surgery, but in most cases, I try to ask questions. Most MDs are happy to answer, at least in my experience.

One question to which we can't find an answer is "why is Koog's blood pressure so low?" It should be related to dialysis, but adjusting that isn't bringing my pressure up. Another doctor, completely unrelated to my dialysis, suggested that the blood presssure problem may be related to residual nerve damage from the diabetes, but nobody is certain, which means nobody can fix it and I have a headache most of the time. When I leave the house I walk around chanting "please, let's not pass out," and that's a lot less funny than it sounds.

Fainting is weird, too. I did actually faint once. Luckily I was already in a hospital and I just fell back into bed after standing up.

I like to think that after I get a new kidney all this will magically disappear and I'll be well again. That's probably not true, but it gets me through the days, and that's something.

before - after