I've done it again

OK, I know that a lot of you who have known me for any length of time could have told me that, but I think this time I've really done it.

About 4:00 this afternoon I heard the feeble wheeze of my doorbell and went downstairs figuring UPS had something for me. Woohoo! It's always nice to see the UPS guy even if the package is lame, because he's very pleasant. (This was about the right time for UPS, otherwise I would not have answered the door any more than I answer the phone at 9 in the morning when it's always somebody pitching a new home loan, some travel scam or the Washington Times.) I nearly jumped out of my skin when I saw two pimply-faced boy missionaries from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. That's Mormons to you and me.

It was a surprise, is all. I wouldn't expect anybody to be out witnessing on such a nasty, rainy day.

One had a sturdy golf umbrella and the other had a bad, small black umbrella. I tried to say "no thanks" and shut the door, but they just kept talking. So in order to shut them up I lied to them.

I told them I was Jewish, and that I didn't really need any information about their religion. They started going on about the Prophets and I just stared at them.

"Look, I'm perfectly happy with my faith! Now you boys try to stay dry and stay out of trouble. Mazel tov. Shalom. Go!" I had never wished more ardently that I knew how to say "go away" in Hebrew.

Then I shut the door and locked it behind me.

So even though I fully believe that the Mormon church is a cult with a veneer of legitimacy, I think I've probably done it this time.

before - after