Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men? Not me.

Things are all right. I have a new sofa, a matching loveseat, and a new bed. The house is in disarray, and I'll be sleeping in the guest room tonight.

There were things I was going to mention, just so y'all would know, but I can't remember most of them. I have a PDA, and I should make a memo file for things like that, so I'd always have something to say. Organized people do that kind of thing, don't they.

"You see, it's not that I'm witty, but that I write down every quip that might occur to me!"

God, how boring.

Today was a foggy day until the rain started. My neighborhood looks great in fog, and great in the rain. It looks great in the sun, and great in the snow. You really can't beat my 'hood for looking good.

Oh. It came to my attention today that I look a lot better than a lot of women my age. That surprised me, because the women I know in my general age group look pretty much like I do, in terms of preservation. Apparently we're not all so lucky.

Anyway, so I watched the Oscars, sort of. I'm thinking it's time to move the telecast to Sunday afternoon to compete with golf. A golf match might actually be more exciting than what I saw of the telecast. Somebody please tell Tom Cruise to shut his stupid mouth. However, somebody please ask Buck Henry to write some more screenplays--beg, even. He's a great writer and an underappreciated talent.

So, now it's 40 minutes 'til midnight on this clock, and I've frittered away almost a whole 'nother day. Goody for me.

before - after