Sunshine Day

Today's entry is all about me and my life, which seems fitting, since this is my forum for talking about such things, I just don't do it very often.

I am sick and tired of my life revolving around being sick. I know there are people who deal with a lot more than I will ever have to, but for me, I also sense that the worst is over, and that has me champing at the bit, so to speak.

The main problem is that I've been sick for about the last five years, and I need to get out of the mindset of being sick and expecting that things are going to go badly. At the same time, I can't take anything too quickly, or I'll fall on my face, and I don't want to fall on my face. (Many of you do not know what I look like because I have been careful to keep photos of myself off the internet, but I have a decent face, which is probably my best attribute. If I had to pick a best attribute to have, I think I'd choose a good face, so it works out well for me.)

I guess I'm just impatient. I want to work at something real, not that what I do for the Maine Coon Rescue isn't real, I am its fundraising coordinator, and the lives of fuzzy cats depend on what I do. On the other hand, it's a volunteer job.

I'm beginning to think that I wouldn't mind meeting somebody and dating again, although that still sounds weird and a little bit far-fetched. I have a group of friends I've known for some time, and that's been fine for a while. I haven't really strayed from that group since I've been sick, though I have met some new people online. It's not that online folks are different, they're people just like everybody... but there is a difference in the way I relate to them, and I can safely say that any guy I met online would not fit into the way I want to conduct any future relationship.

You know: been there, done that, et cetera.

So I don't know what my point is, exactly, except to express my frustration at the way things are today, and to tell myself that I need a plan.

If you have a plan, please feel free to tell me about it. I know all the spammers have my e-mail address, so I think all you folks should, too.

Oh, and the sun is out today. I can't tell you how nice it is to see the sun again.

before - after