Something Revisited

Anyway, Dr. Piper suspects some kind of damage to a disk in the lumbar. The only way I know terms like �lumbar� is radio ads for the Healthy Back Store, so I�m wondering if a new office chair is in order.

Well, actually I am going to see a back specialist, be fed through a tube for an MRI and get a proper diagnosis to see if Dr. Piper�s suspicion is correct. He had me move my leg around several different ways, explained that this was a test he learned in med school, but that he didn�t remember all that much about backs. At that point he started talking about his friend the neurosurgeon and I kind of stopped listening.

So I don�t think I mentioned that my left leg is grossly swollen, and that I can hardly walk because of this. My right leg looks scrawny and the left is packed with water. Before the transplant the reverse was generally true. I don�t understand, except that it has something to do with lymph nodes and tying things off. I�m sure I signed something before the surgery saying that I couldn�t hold anybody on the team responsible if anything goes wrong, but I didn�t sign up for this! I had the surgery so I could avoid swelling.

Even with the cosmetic unpleasantness and the near excruciating pain, I am more concerned with my lab results: my hematocrit is down to 25, phosphorous and potassium are slightly elevated. The levels of the meds I take to ward off rejection are optimal, whereas they were toxic when I was admitted, and yet my symptoms persist.

I suppose I should be glad that the pain in my left leg seems to be unrelated to the transplant or any of the surgery. My guess is that it was caused by sleeping on the sofa bed at my brother�s place over Christmas. That�s so normal, so much the kind of thing that could happen to absolutely anybody that it almost breaks my heart.

Scott, my new kidney�s original owner, has called several times while I have been in here. His concern is only natural, but I can�t help but be touched by it. To know that people out there in the real world know and care about your troubles� I don�t know about you, but I am profoundly affected by the number of people who have reached out to me during this long ordeal. Some were close friends I had known for ages, others were people whose names I barely recognized. They�I mean, you all�meant and continue to mean so very much to me. I feel different about my life because of these connections, and because of something I wrote here shortly after I got home from that first long hospital visit in 2000. I remarked in an almost cavalier manner that I guessed I would trust--trust others where my medical condition was concerned. I have been back to that simple word so many times: trust. The act of doing so may go against the grain, but in this situation I find that it has served me well.

before - after